ass wiping and ketchup packets

I injured my right hand a few weeks ago while I was on my honeymoon (yes I got married, no I did not blog about the process, but perhaps I should have). So the injury mainly affects my right thumb somewhere between or involving the 2nd and 3rd knuckles. I have discovered that this injury is sometimes called the skiers thumb or skiers injury because if you take a bad fall while holding your poles, sometimes the pole bends your thumb back to far. Sometimes football players get this too. Bending my thumb back too far is basically what happened.

If affects the following:
-my ability to make a firm handshake
-my ability to turn a doorknob
-my ability to wipe my ass in my own particular efficient way

This last ability concerns me the most. I am right handed and naturally wipe my ass with my right hand. Well I discovered that I use my opposable thumb fairly directly when performing the wiping action. I wipe in a downward "posterior towards anterior" direction. This puts pressure on my thumb in just such a way to aggrevate the injury. Before you ask - no I do not wipe my ass directly with my thumb nor do I stick my thumb up my ass, and no I do not get shit on my balls. The other affected abilities do not concern me much as I can use my left hand to turn doorknobs if i remember, and I don't shake hands with people on a regular basis. Wiping, however, is a 1-2 (or more) times daily occurance. Yes I have tried to wipe in other directions or with more or less force, but honestly the way I perform the task is fairly efficient for me and is being degraded by my thumb injury.

Heal faster thumb.

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My daily lunch conversations at work have started to shift away from work to other less meaningful subjects. Today I brought up the need for larger ketchup packets. If given the chance, I will empty 5-8 seperate ketchup packets in order to efficiently dip my fries in just the right amount of ketchup. I thought why not make larger packets? Perhaps a packet 2-3 times the size of the current standard.

From a manufacturing standpoint I see the following:
Pros:
expanded product line
possible reduced material cost per ounce of ketchup
Less complaints from people like me

Cons:
Oppourtunity cost of making the different sized packets
Getting distributors and end users to switch or start using the larger size

From a distributor standpoint:
Pros:
Less wasted unused packets
less people asking for more ketchup, as they were able to squeez more ketchup out of the larger packet

Cons:
Getting people to adjust to the new size packets

I believe that you would receive about the same amount of ketchup in the standard "fist of ketchup packets" you normally get at a fast food place. Tthere would be simply fewer packets. The end consumer would not be affected and would appreciate openeing fewer packets to dispense the same amount of ketchup. Those that only want one packet of ketchup would simply throw the excess away, but who really uses only one packet anyway?

So as an open request to ketchup packet manufacturers of the world - please make larger ketchup packets.

No I don't care about mustard packets - one is just fine for my hot dog at the ball game.